


Third Time Lucky?

by PaperAster



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Dialogue Heavy, M/M, My First Fanfic, Post-Canon, So much angst, Sugamama, by squad i mean suga and oikawa, did i mention that it was dialogue heavy?, tsukki protection squad, why do hurt my faves?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-13
Updated: 2017-04-18
Packaged: 2018-09-24 03:42:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 17,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9698015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PaperAster/pseuds/PaperAster
Summary: Tsukishima Kei is 17 and has already had his heart broken twice. By the only two people that he's ever trusted with seeing him far more than what he lets everyone else see. The question is whether putting his heart on the line for the third time really is the charm or will it break him to a point where he can't be put back together.so basically, Tsukki is in pain (as usual) and he learns that some of the best people are found where you least expect them (i.e. cafes). But that doesn't mean they won't hurt you (because they will).





	1. Falling

**Author's Note:**

> Hi!  
> So, this is my first fanfiction and I hope you like it. I'm sorry if I don't update this regularly but I will try to because I love the characters and I want to do so much with them.  
> The characters aren't mine (unless I include an oc to help with the plot) and they belong to Furudate Haruichi. The plot and character developments, however are mine.  
> This fic is going to be very dialogue heavy so if you don't like that I'm sorry. I really enjoy exploring the relationships between characters, whether they're platonic or romantic, and the best way to do that is for them to talk to each other.  
> Thank you to Beth and Georgie for letting me rant plot ideas at them. I love you and your input is always appreciated, even if I don't always use your ideas.  
> PaperAster x
> 
> (p.s. this work is also available on Wattpad under the same name if you prefer the format)

The first time that Tsukishima Kei’s heart had broken it had fractured his entire world along with it. He had been nearing the end of elementary school and his brother had been everything to him. A hero, a guardian, a friend. Akiteru was all Kei had ever wanted to be. Until he wasn’t. He’d betrayed Kei’s trust, the one who trusted him inexplicably, and lost Kei because of it. In just one look. Across one room. At a single person. Kei lost everything that day. Kei changed on that day.

He became more closed off, more cautious, more cynical. Kei’s sarcastic nature and quick wit became his shield that protected him, as well as the only thing that people saw if they couldn’t be bothered to stick around long enough to look past it. He took a step back from his interests, wary of becoming too attached and being let down by putting too much expectation into uncertainties. He distanced himself from everyone, except the one boy who refused to take a step back.

The second time that Tsukishima Kei’s heart had broken it had hurt with a pain so incomparably worse than the first. This time was slower, giving Kei time to notice how far gone he was and how hopeless any attempt to stop it would be. It had also given him time to hope that the outcome could be different from what it inevitably would be. He was also given a choice. Not the choice to escape before it was too late - it was already far too late - but the choice of whether he alone would be heart-broken or he would drag two others along with him.

Kei had been in love with Yamaguchi Tadashi since before he even really knew what love was. (Not to say that he understood it now.) He’d known Yamaguchi since elementary school: since before he changed. Yamaguchi had been the boy who refused to take a step away despite how Kei changed, because he was still the same in the ways that mattered and Yamaguchi saw how scared and how alone Kei was without Aki. Kei realised that he liked him as more than a friend in their second year of middle school. Around the same time that he realised that he wasn’t attracted to girls at all and Yamaguchi wasn’t attracted to boys.

Yamaguchi fell in love easily. The girl who lived across the road, the girl he sat next to in assembly that one time, the captain of the softball team, the girl who lent him a rubber in maths, the girl, the girl, the girl. He would have a new ‘love’ every couple of months and he was bad at hiding them but was too awkward and had too little self-confidence to do anything about them. He would pine annoyingly from afar, sneaking glances, doodling names in margins and occasionally sighing dramatically. Quiet, tired sighs, but dramatic sighs nonetheless.

In his pining, oblivious, almost self-absorbed way, Yamaguchi would rant to Kei about his ‘loves’, not noticing how his every word put another crack on Kei’s already fragile heart. He would lament how cute they were, how nice, how friendly: everything that Kei wasn’t. He would sigh in resignation because ‘why would she ever want to be with someone like me?’.

Kei would get annoyed by this because he couldn’t understand why his best friend was so nervous – there wasn’t a single reason that he could think of for any of these girls to turn Yamaguchi down (except for one that had had a boyfriend already). But he also hoped that Yamaguchi’s lonely heart would look at him for once; that _he_ could be the subject of those sneaked glances, _his_ name doodled in the margins of notebooks, _his_ presence the cause of a quiet, dramatic sigh. This changed when they met Yachi Hitoka.

Yamaguchi was completely over his current crush- the girl who sat next to him in homeroom- the second he saw Yachi trembling nervously as she stood next to Kiyoko, who was introducing her to the team. Kei was sure that this would just be another of Yamaguchi’s ‘loves’ until he noticed that the obviousness, awkwardness and quiet, dramatic sighs were mutual. Their obliviousness seemed to be too. (He had the suspicion, however, judging by some of the conversations he’d had with her, that Yachi was not as oblivious as she seemed and was probably just creating new and elaborate ways that hers and Yamaguchi’s lives could end should she ever choose tried to even acknowledge that her feelings were mutual. God forbid that she should ever think to act on them.)

Thus, Kei was given a choice: help these two idiots get together or let them suffer as their chances at requited love seemed to grow more and more distant. Either way, Kei’s heart was already broken. The former would mean that Kei would see Yamaguchi happy. He loved seeing Yamaguchi smile. He was always so self-conscious of his smile, but there were times when he was so happy that he forgot his insecurities and he glowed. Those smiles happened a lot around Yachi.

The latter meant he could comfort him and they could share a broken heart. It would be just him and Yamaguchi again, against the world, against the bullies who hated Yamaguchi’s freckles, against anything and anyone who hurt them. The moon and stars alone together in the night sky.

But the former meant that Yachi would be happy too.

It wasn’t as though Kei hated Yachi or even had anything against her. If he was forced to say his opinion on her he’d say that he liked her. She was kind, quiet, creative and smart. She seemed perfect for Yamaguchi and he seemed perfect for her. Kei couldn’t think of anyone who could make Yamaguchi happier because, despite how awkward they both were, they were never awkward around each other (beyond the constant romantic tension). Kei had no choice. He’d never had one. He started planning.

 

~(^-^)~*

 

It was so much more difficult than Kei had ever imagined it would be. He had underestimated Yamaguchi’s ability to ignore the obvious and Yachi’s ability to self-depreciate.

But he managed it. It took nearly a year. Nearly a year of leaving them alone together to run imaginary errands, of subtly volunteering them to clear up the gym together after practice, of almost resorting to just locking them in a cupboard. He would have done it too if he hadn’t of realised that when Yachi was involved (a girl who managed to turn the most ordinary of situations into life and death ones) it was best to involve to avoid locking them anywhere.

One Sugawara Koushi had caught on to what Kei was up to towards the end of the school year and, despite the fact he was now in his first year at Waseda University in Tokyo, was willing to help out in any way he could. This usually meant letting Kei rant over the phone about how dense his best friend was and how he should just leave him to suffer alone forever. He didn’t though. He couldn’t. Much to Suga’s amusement.

Suga was the one that Kei had told first after Yamaguchi had told him, like he hadn’t already known. Suga had demanded to be notified as soon as there was a development of any kind so Kei called him. Suga picked up on the first ring.

“ _You did it, didn’t you!_ ” It wasn’t a question. “ _This is so great Kei. You don’t have to keep meddling anymore, it’s their problem now! You’re free!_ ”

“…Hello to you too Koushi.”

“ _Shut up and yes, hello. I’m just so excited. How long have you been trying to get those two together for? This is a monumental moment! The two most oblivious kids in Karasuno, excusing the freak quick duo, of course-_ ”

“And the recently graduated ex-captain and vice of the boys’ volleyball club” Kei muttered.

“ _-finally together! This deserves a celebration. I need to call Oikawa: he’s good at this sort of thing. He lives near me, you know, same block of flats, and the parties that he hosts, oh my god. You can hear them from my flat. And he lives two floors above me! Shows how shitty and thin the walls are here, right? Or maybe his parties are just_ that _loud? I’ve been invited to the next one; maybe I should go along and find out. You can come to one if you want when you finally get around to visiting me. We won’t be drinking, obviously, we’re both underage, but there might be alcohol so I’ll just have to protect you, as your responsible senpai-”_

“Koushi, you’re rambling again.”

_“I’m excited! Let me live, Kei.”_

“Who’s older out of the two of us again?”

_“Shut up, you’re so disrespectful to your senpai. Why do I still talk to you?”_

“Because I’m a delight and provide a source of intellectual conversation as an alternative to Oikawa rambling about his ‘ _Iwa-chan_ ’?”

_“No, that’s not it… Oh yeah! You keep me up to date on all the Miyagi gossip so that I can rub it Oikawa’s face that I know more of what’s going on than he does! And on that topic, how long have you been trying to get our adorable manager and pinch server together for?”_

“Around ten months, give or take. So yeah… I guess you’re right: I’m free now. But to be honest I doubt that I won’t get dragged into a mutual misunderstanding at some point or other and have to fix that for them.”

“ _Yeah probably but hey, would they be them if that wasn’t the case._ ”

“… No they wouldn’t be. But… I guess I can’t believe it’s over. They’re together now.”

“ _Yeah… Crazy to think about, isn’t it?_ ”

Kei shrugged and then remembered that Koushi couldn’t see.

“ _How’re you holding up?_ ”

“What do you mean? Why would I not be? My best friend has finally got the perfect girlfriend after pining for nearly a year.”

“ _Don’t bullshit me Kei. You don’t have to lie to me… I’m here for you and just because you knew this was going to happen doesn’t mean you have to be okay. You’re allowed to be upset.”_

“…Still no idea what you’re talking about Koushi. I’ve got nothing to be any less than _jubilant_ about. He’s my best frie-”

_“So am I Kei! I’m your best friend too! So, I know that you love him and that’s alright and just because he’s happily in a relationship doesn’t mean that you can’t be upset, even if you’re happy for him. It’s fine Kei. You can cry. You can scream at the universe. You bury yourself in blankets with a tub of ice cream and watching shitty rom coms. I recommend the last one. You’re allowed to be upset.”_

“…Is it that obvious? Do you think that he knows?”

_“Knows what? That you love him or that you’re upset?”_

“Either, both, does it matter?”

 _“He probably doesn’t know either, if I’m honest.”_ Kei wasn’t sure whether he felt relieved or disappointed when he heard this. _“I mean… he usually notices when you’re upset but he’s probably too preoccupied with his own happy bubble at the moment. You’ve said yourself that Yachi-”_

“She’s the first one to have reciprocated his feelings, yeah.”

_“So, he’s probably just never thought it possible for someone to have feeling for him that he doesn’t return. And he’s straight. Straight guys never consider the fact that they might be attractive to anyone other than girls. The idea of a guy, especially you, crushing on him, loving him, has probably never even occurred to him.”_

“I got close to telling him last week.” Kei hadn’t been planning to tell Koushi about this, tell anyone really, but he blurted it out. That was all it took for him to realise how desperately he wanted- _needed_ \- to tell Koushi about it.

 _“Huh? This is_ you _we’re talking about, right? The same guy who won’t admit his feelings to people who already know and he’s on a first name basis with? That guy?”_

“…Yep.”

_“Oh… okay. Well, now that we’ve cleared that up, please continue.”_

Kei was silent for a few minutes, trying to recalibrate his thoughts. To be honest, he understood Koushi’s scepticism: he one was the one who was most surprised by his almost-confession.

_“Kei? You still there? Are you running out of minutes again? I’ll call your landline if that’s the case.”_

“No… I’m still here. Just trying to work out where to begin…”

_“You can text it me if you want. Organise what you want to say by writing it down.”_

Kei shook his head. “No, it’s fine. I think… I think that I need to say it out loud.”

_“Okay. Take your time, I’ll be right here.”_

“…He said that it might have been easier if he’d just fallen in love with me instead.” Kei’s voice was barely above a murmur.

 _“He said what?”_ Koushi’s voice was calm with an edge to it that was somewhere between anger and sympathy; Kei was sure that he’d spoken loud enough for Koushi to hear him.

“He said that it might have been easier if he’d fallen in love with me instead of Yachi. That, because he feels like he can tell me anything, it would have been so much easier if he had just loved me. That if he loved me it wouldn’t hurt as much. Then he laughed and said ‘But that’ll never happen, right Tsukki? Crazy to think about though, huh?’ I was so close to telling him Koushi. Then Yachi came over ask him his opinion on a new poster that she’d designed and he lit up at the sight of her and that was it… I didn’t say it.”

_“…I’m coming back to Miyagi.”_

“What? Why?”

" _Well, someone needs to punch him and you won’t do it. I’m willing to break a nail for this Kei; don’t stop me.”_

“I don’t understand why he needs to be punched. He only said the truth.” Koushi was silent, obviously wanting to interject but allowing Kei to finish. “He was right, it would have been so much easier if he fell in love with me because I would accept his feelings in a heartbeat. He _can_ tell me anything and it wouldn’t have hurt as much, for either of us. I’d fight off anyone who hurt him for loving me, anyone who hurt him _at all_. They wouldn’t stand a chance against me. But he was also right when he said that it won’t ever happen and it’s crazy to even consider it.”

_"Kei…”_

Kei laughed bitterly, “And it doesn’t matter now anyway, they’re dating and if I ever had even a slight chance, I certainly don’t now. It’s over Koushi… I’m free”

 _"…Yeah, I suppose you are.”_ Kei could hear the sad smile in his voice. _“But Kei…”_

“Hm?”

_“Be careful. There are so many ways this could end and I don’t want you getting hurt anymore.”_

“Don’t worry about me Koushi; I’ll be fine.”

_“I hope so too.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there's the first chapter. Yay! This chapter was originally intended to be a prologue but then the phone conversation happened and it didn't make sense as a prologue anymore.  
> Okay, so I've got a confession. I don't really ship Yama and Yachi romantically. |_･\\) Sure they seem like they'd be a cute couple but I think that they're comfortable being bros. The reason that I put them together for this fic is that I didn't want you to hate Yama's girlfriend (I don't want them to hate Yama either but tbh he is kinda of annoying me even tho i'm the one who wrote him like this). And I don't know anyone who hates Yachi. I don't know anyone who hates Yama either tbh.  
> Suga knows that Tsukki likes Yama because they got a lot closer when Tsukki was being a matchmaking king. He didn't tell Suga but Suga works it out as he gets better at reading Tsukki and his emotions. And i think that Tsukki needs more friends like that: friends who don't think that there's nothing wrong just because they can't see it themselves. Yama notices when Tsukki's upset about something but he'll never really do anything about it. Suga does. He supports Tsukki and helps him to confront his problems and feelings. I'm gonna try and show that more as i write more. __〆(￣ー￣* )  
> What else?... Oh yeah, Kuroo's actually gonna be in the next chapter. And i'm aiming to explore a few ships in this fic, other than Kurotsukki and Yamyachi. I'm thinking Daisuga, Ennotaka and some surprise ones. Who knows there may even be cameos from other anime. ┐(︶▽︶)┌  
> Sorry about all the dialogue but i really want to explore the characters' relationships with each other and they need to talk for me to do that so yeah... Bye!!! ♡♡♡


	2. Lost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the last chapter:  
> \- Kei got his heart broken  
> \- Yamaguchi was unintentionally the antagonist  
> \- Suga was the vice-captain everyone wants, the mom that everyone needs and the best friend everyone deserves  
> \- Kuroo didn't appear yet (sorry but he's in this chapter)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I gonna wait until I'd finished chapter 3 to update this, but I've had a really bad day that day that ruined a really good week and writing makes me happy. Thank you for reading this, I honestly wasn't expecting anyone to. Your comments made me cry and the number of kudos on something that I'd written made me a bit dizzy. (*/_\\*) Thank you so so much. It means the world and more to me.
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter \\(^▽^)/

Kei was lost. And he wasn’t afraid to admit it; he knew that that would be counterproductive and if he were to wander around pretending that he knew where he was he would only succeed in getting more lost, more tired and harder to find. He’d planned visiting Koushi, who’d been extending the invitation since before he even graduated and Kei had finally decided to take him up on his offer, but he wasn’t sure of the likelihood of him reaching his ex-upperclassman’s flat. After being lost for as long as he had, he would be happy with finding Aki and going back to the train station to go home; he had tried, after all, and this trip seemed doomed after such an unfortunate beginning. Kei didn’t want to push the little luck that he had.

He’d never been to Tokyo, except with the team (and that had only been to Shinzen and Fukurodani, not into Tokyo proper), and had become separated from his brother in a crowd when getting off the train. Worse still, he didn’t have any data left on his phone so he couldn’t use Google maps to find his way back to Akiteru. He knew that he’d left the train station in the right direction. Where he’d gone after that was much more of a mystery. Only to be made worse when he thought he’d seen Aki and followed him, hoping to catch up with him, until he realised that it wasn’t his brother after all.

His best bet was to find somewhere to sit and wait for Aki to find him. Then they would be able to go and find Koushi’s flat together. So, he walked a little bit further and looked around the street that he was currently walking down until he saw a little café off to his left, down a small side street. Perfect.

He headed towards it and stopped just outside to look up at the sign hanging above the door, ‘Has Beans’ it read in soft letters. He smirked and rolled his eyes at the pun (ignoring the ache of how much he could relate to the name) but made a mental note of it before pushing the door open. The bell above the door tinkled as he stepped forwards and the door swung closed.

After letting his eyes adjust to the soft, well-lit inside of the café, Kei looked around. The tables were mostly round with a few square ones pushed against the walls. The round ones were accompanied by comfortable, worn looking armchairs and sofas that Kei assumed had been donated (they were too mismatched not to have been) but were in good condition and seemed well looked after. The square tables had wooden chairs that were identical to each other but had been painted with various different colours of paint. Some even had more than one colour painted onto them. The café was fairly empty but had a few customers, mainly university age students and young mothers with small children, dotted around on various tables. (Kei took the students to be a good sign and hoped that they meant that he wasn’t as far from where he needed to be as he had thought.) And there in the far corner from the door, by the counter, was Kuroo Tetsurou, former captain of Nekoma’s volleyball team.

Unfortunately for Kei, before he could find himself a table and sit down, Kuroo looked up and his eyes widened in surprise at the sight of Kei but he quickly recovered and his signature shit-eating grin spread itself across his face. He waved, giving Kei a look that said _‘If you don’t come and sit by me I will shout your name across this café, wave my arms around and everyone will look over. And I know that you hate drawing attention to yourself’_ or something along those lines. Kei sighed and reluctantly went to put his bag and coat down by Kuroo. He didn’t give Kuroo any time to say anything before he went to the counter with his wallet and ordered himself the only fruit tea on the menu and a cupcake with a strawberry embedded in its icing.

Carrying his tray, with a small pot of tea, a cup and saucer, a cupcake and Kei’s wallet balanced on it, Kei walked the short distance to Kuroo’s table, poured himself a cup of tea and waited for Kuroo to say something. Kuroo looked amused and Kei noticed the textbooks that covered the table for the first time. It looked like chemistry but it wasn’t like it mattered to him.

“Long time, no see, Tsukki!”

“Don’t call me that. And yes, I do suppose that it has been a rather long time.” Kei dug his phone out of his pocket and finds his messages.

“Am I boring you already?” Kuroo pouts across the table. “You haven’t even been here longer than five minutes.”

“I’m texting my brother. We lost each other when we walking around trying to find Koushi’s address.”

“Koushi? First name basis Tsukki? I’m jealous.”

“Sugawara Koushi. I am sure that you can remember the name of the vice-captain of the team that beat you at nationals… and don’t call me Tsukki.”

“Still doesn’t explain the first name basis. I’m pretty sure that you don’t call Shrimpy ‘Shouyo’ like Kenma does. You don’t even call Freckles by his first name, do you?”

“We got quite close over the last eight months, not that it’s any of your business…”

“Now, now, Tsukki. Is there any need to be that salty?”

Kei ignored the question and sipped his tea, pretending that each time Kuroo called him Tsukki didn’t make him think of Yamaguchi. Didn’t make him think of how Yamaguchi was with Yachi at that exact moment. Probably holding her hand. Blushing at everything she says, making her blush too. Maybe they’re on first name basis now that they’re dating. Kei wishes he could hold Yamaguchi’s hand and make him blush and call him ‘Tadashi’.

“Ignoring me now, huh? Dear Tsukki, you wound me!” Kuroo continues to pout, not noticing that Kei was barely holding together. “So… how’s school? How’s volleyball?”

“No different from usual. And please Kuroo-san, please don’t call me Tsukki.” Kei looked straight at Kuroo for the first time since sitting down and Kuroo was taken aback by the fact that, even though his face was as blank as ever, Kei’s eyes showed his cracking façade and the beginnings of tears. He quickly looked away after meeting Kuroo’s eyes.

“Then can I ask what is different from usual, Tsu… Tsukishima-kun.”

“That’s none of your concern Kuroo-san.”

“But it’s something that’s weighing on your mind, isn’t it?” When he didn’t get an answer, Kuroo continued talking. “Burdens are better shared and if it’s a Miyagi problem who’s better to tell than someone who’s from Tokyo.”

“I’m fine Kuroo-san.”

Kuroo scoffed. “You’re obviously not. Come on, who am I supposed to tell?”

“You’ll tell Kozume-san, who’ll tell Hinata, who’ll tell Kageyama and probably Yachi.”

“You’d be surprised how many secrets I actually keep from Kenma. And you know as well as I do that Shrimpy is really good at keeping secrets when it’s something important.”

“You’re not going to let this go, are you?”

“Nope!”

“…At least have some shame about it. Fine I’ll tell you.” Kuroo started to celebrate but Kei cut him off. “If you say a single thing I swear to God that I will shave off that bird’s nest you call hair and give it to Bokuto-san to keep his owls in.” Kuroo looked amused at the threat but mimed zipping his lips shut.

“Okay so I… I like someone. I’ve liked them for years and I’ve always known that it’s hopeless because they simply don’t like people like me. And yes, I do know that for a fact. He…” Kei’s mouth audibly snapped shut as he realised that he’d slipped up on the pronoun. He watched Kuroo, cautious and weary, out of the corner of his eye.

“So, it was Freckles. Don’t look like that, I’m observant- comes with being a middle blocker on a national level volleyball team. Except I don’t suppose I’m that anymore. Sometimes I forget that I’m not still in high school…” Kuroo drifted off of his sentence, staring at the open books on the table without seeing them, then he looked back Kei and his eyes refocussed so quickly that it gave Kei whiplash. “Don’t worry, Tsukishima-kun. Your secret is safe with me. Continue your tale of woe.”

“‘Tale of woe’ sounds so melodramatic…” Kei watched the tea lap at the sides of the cup in his hands. “Yamaguchi likes new person every few weeks. Not in a fickle way, in a… not trusting but that’s the best word I can think of.” Kuroo looked confused but curious, his raised eyebrow prompted Kei to explain himself further. “He likes people. He’s good with them. He has to be; he’s managed to be friends with me for about a decade. He falls in love the same way he makes friends: quickly and easily. He puts his whole self on the line from the moment he meets them and because he trusts people so inexplicably the smallest thing could make him love them.

“I don’t pretend to understand how he can simply throw his heart at someone even though he’s certain that they’ll never love him back. But he does and it’s fine because it’s _him_ that’s involved. Everything always seems to turn out fine with the relationships. The girls never fall for him; he never confesses, but they always end up being friends.

“And it continued like that for years. I never had to worry about losing him to some girl because he wouldn’t confess and she didn’t love him. He’s never liked me back, but it didn’t matter because it was always the two of us. He was mine even though he will never see it like that and I’ll never tell him that that’s how I saw it.

“Then there was _her_. Yamaguchi saw her and I watched him fall for her. I thought that it wouldn’t matter and it’d be just another of the same, y’know? But then I saw her and I watched her fall for him. It was too late and there was nothing I could do, so I helped them get together. It was hard because they’re both so oblivious that I had to interfere loads to get them together. But I managed and they’re happy and that’s all that matters.”

“Well, it’s obviously not.”

“Not what?”

“All that matters. You need to consider yourself more.” Kuroo looked somewhere between annoyed and desperate. “You can’t even bear to hear the nickname that at least three people call you because he’s one of those people. He’s hurt you, even if he didn’t mean to and doesn’t know that he has.”

“I knew that this was going to happen someday. I’ve been prepared for this since he had his first crush and she was… well, a ‘she’! What’s the point in moping when I could be getting on with my life?”

“But you don’t have to. Not yet anyway. It’s okay to be not okay.”

“Why are you and Koushi like this? I have my own way of dealing with this, okay? Leave me alone!” Kei started to stand up but Kuroo grabbed his wrist. “Let go of me Kuroo-san.”

“No. We are going to talk about this because Sugawara’s obviously tried and gotten nowhere so I’m going to try my luck.”

“It was an eventuality Kuroo-san. There was nothing I could do to change that.”

“You don’t believe that. At least you didn’t up to the point they got together.” Kei sat down at the truth that he hadn’t allowed himself to realise. “And in any case, just because it was an eventuality, that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t hurt when it becomes an actuality.”

“…Who’d you steal that line from?”

“No one! I’m proud of it; don’t try to take it away from me.”

“…It hurts so much Kuroo-san. Why can’t he love me? Why can’t he love me instead of her?”

“I don’t know Tsukki. Sometimes life just hates us and doesn’t give us what we want even if it seems like the most logical course of events.”

Kei just sits there, staring down at his tea, for a few minutes. Kuroo watches him silently, concern written across his face but not wanting to say anything yet. A single tear falls down Kei’s face and it’s as though someone’s pulled out the stopper from a bottle that’s been too full for too long. His shoulders hunch in resignation and his bottom lip is pulled between his teeth and his eyebrows pull together in frustration. And he cries.

Kei cries in a way that is heart-breaking to watch. In way that you wouldn’t even notice that he was crying until you’re less than a metre away from him. Like he doesn’t remember how it’s supposed to work and like he’s never cried with anyone else there. Like he isn’t allowed to be crying. Like he doesn’t feel like his reason for crying is enough to justify why he is. Like he doesn’t understand why he started or how to stop.

Kuroo lets him.

He doesn’t interfere. He doesn’t hug Kei or say anything. He doesn’t touch him. He doesn’t even openly acknowledge the fact that Kei’s crying. But he’s there. And that’s enough.

It takes almost half an hour for Kei to stop crying, but it’s okay. He needed this. He needed the time to just… not be okay. And Kuroo was there with him the whole way. They sit in silence: Kuroo goes back to studying his chemistry text books and Kei stares, unseeing, at a particularly interesting part of the wall where two strips of wallpaper meet.

It takes just over half an hour for Akiteru to come bursting through the door, red in the face, as the bell above it gives a dramatic-entrance-ruining tinkle. He spots Kei and grins, his shoulders dropping in relief. Walking over to Kei and Kuroo, he opens his mouth, concerned rant already on his tongue. But Kei cuts him off by standing, picking up his phone and wallet, nodding a ‘Goodbye’ at Kuroo and walking past him without so much as a ‘Oh there you are, Nii-chan’. Not that Akiteru was expecting one. Hoping for one? Definitely. Expecting one? Not at all.

“Tsukki,” Kei stopped and glanced back at the former captain, who seemed to be scribbling something on a page of his notebook before ripping it out and handing it to Kei. “In case you need someone from Tokyo for a Miyagi problem.”

Kei half-smiled before nodding again and carrying on out the door. Akiteru glanced curiously at Kuroo but followed his younger brother out of the café and out onto the street.

 

~(^-^)~*

 

Kuroo noticed that Kei hadn’t finished his tea and had only eaten the strawberry from the top of the cupcake. He had no idea when that strawberry had been eaten; he never saw it happen.

 

~(^-^)~*

 

“How did you manage to lose me before we even left the train station? Honestly Kei, what am I going to do with you? I’m going to be late for my meeting with Alicia now. I haven’t seen her in months. It’s been so long since our last ‘Little Bro Appreciation Meeting’. Oh, and we’d better let Suga-kun know that I’ve found you. He was worried about you and he said that if you’d have visited him sooner this wouldn’t have happened because you’d already know the way by now. He’s nice. I’m glad you befriended him. But seriously, you’re coming on your own next time. I can’t deal with another heart attack. I’ll stick you on the train with a good, old-fashioned paper map and a sleeping bag and hopefully you’ll get yourself there in one piece-”

Kei tuned Aki’s rambling out and thought about his conversation with Kuroo. He hadn’t expected him to be such a good listener. It was a nice surprise. Kei smiled (a small smile that only involved one corner of his mouth) and wondered whether this trip wasn’t going to be such a disaster after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo... how'd ya like kuroo. I hope I'm writing him okay 'cause I don't want to make anyone too ooc. Plz take mercy on me for there will be artistic interpretation here and there but hey I'm human, sue me. ╮(︶▽︶)╭  
> I don't think this is gonna be too slow burn 'cause slow burn can frustrate me sometimes and idek how to write it w/o being boring.  
> That don't mean that Kuroo's gonna have an easy time winning Tsukki over. Ohhh no. We all know how shut off and cautious Tsukki became after the whole incident w/ Aki. Now it's happened again and he didn't even finish healing. AND he has a Sugamama protection squad. (Mama Crow gives me life (^▽^)♡ )  
> Thank you for reading!  
> Bye♡♡♡


	3. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the last chapter:  
> -Kei got lost and found someone  
> -Kuroo is a good confidant  
> -Kei cried (sounds minor but is important)  
> -A strawberry went missing (is minor but it amused me when i wrote it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've established a kinda schedule for this fic. I'll to update it every Sunday-ish and i'm sorry if i don't stick to it. I've finally written my chapter plan out so writing should be a bit easier and have more direction. I know where i went to get to but i'm not sure how i'm planning to get there. Any suggestions of things i could do would be awesome because i have ideas but they come in later in the story and i need 'dates' for Kuroo and Tsukki (more like friendly get-together's but enough that they get closer).  
> I actually really struggled with this chapter. It's like 90% dialogue and that meant that i really struggled to get it to flow. I even drew myself a floor plan of Suga's flat to help myself understand it more. I had a whole week off school for half-term and i didn't even start writing ch.4. So i failed the goal that i set for myself.
> 
> Hope you enjoy the chapter.

“So, let me get this straight.” Kei was sitting on a sofa in Koushi’s flat; it wasn’t a very big flat. There were four and a half rooms in the whole thing: the bathroom, Koushi’s room, his roommate’s room and the kitchen/ living room combo. None of the rooms were all that big either, if he were to reach behind him Kei would be able to touch the sink in the kitchen half of the room- the different halves were made clear by the change from stained lino to equally stained carpet.

“Is it possible for anything to be ‘straight’ when there’s only us two in the room? Neither of us will ever be straight.”

“Kei, I don’t need your sass at such an important time, thank you very much. That sass wasn’t even very witty or original which means that you’re just trying to distract me and avoid the topic. I know you, remember?” Koushi pointed at Kei from the armchair with the brush of the silvery-blue nail varnish he was applying to his toes and Kei tried not to laugh because it was impossible to take him seriously with the mint green face mask he was wearing. “So, let me get this gay. You got lost and ran into our least favourite stray cat-”

“Who’s our favourite?”

“Yaku.” Koushi didn’t even hesitate. “With Kai and Kenma as close seconds.”

“Why’s Yaku our favourite? I didn’t know that you talked to him all that often. Did he end up at Waseda too? Is that why?”

“Well, yes and no.” Suga went back to painting his toenails, his duck toe spacers making it much easier for him to gossip and paint at the same time. “He does go to Waseda with Oikawa-kun and I but I talked to him a lot before that.”

“How come?”

“The mom squad.” He blew on his left toes. “When I first met him at camp, I realised that he was the mother of his team, though he does have very different parenting methods to myself. Come to think of it, his mothering technique is very similar to that of Iwaizumi-san. Violent but caring, y’know?”

“Who else is in this volleyball mom squad of yours?”

“Well of course there’s me, the founder and only member with a reliable team dad, and Yaku, my first ally. Then there’s Ennoshita, still adjusting to being a full-time mom with a team dad that’s more like one of the kids. Akaashi from Fukurodani, I think you’re friends with him already. His job has gotten so much easier now that he no longer has to look after Bokuto, but now he has nothing to complain about on the group chat.”

“There’s a group chat?”

“What do you take me for Kei? Of course, there’s a group chat! I’m also in a pretty setter squad and that has a group chat too. The mom squad is mostly tired people complaining and the pretty setter squad is basically Seijou vs. Shiratorizawa while everyone else laughs at them, eggs them on or is just done with them.”

“I’m glad that I’m a middle blocker and a problem child; I don't have to deal with that.”

“They’re fun people and I love ‘em but yeah, there are days when I’m just like ‘Can everyone just not?’, y’know?”

“I can only relate to the second half of that statement.”

“I’m sure that Kenma would agree with you. I find it funny that he probably spends the most time on the internet and he’s always lurking in the back of the group chat but he contributes so little that I keep forgetting he’s in the chat.”

“That was me in the Karasuno group chat.”

“I know. I was in that one as well, believe it or not.”

“Ha ha. So who else is in your mom squad?”

“Iwaizumi-san, he’s a very reluctant member, but, considering how high-key the entirety of Seijou is and the fact that none of them have died yet, I think that he’s the most deserving of the title of ‘Team Mom’. And, most recent but no less welcome, Moniwa from Date Tech. I love Moniwa; he’s just so pure and beautiful as a person. It’s a welcome change because all our friends are assholes.”

“We’re assholes too.”

“Naturally. Why else would we have so many friends who are assholes?”

“Hinata’s not an asshole. He’s just an idiot and he’s dating an asshole.”

“Kageyama doesn’t mean to be an asshole; he’s bad at social situations and has really bad resting bitch face. And he can’t smile in a way that doesn’t terrify children and volleyball players alike.”

“Even if it’s all an accident, bit doesn’t stop him being an asshole. I mean, his role model in junior high was _Oikawa_. He couldn’t _not_ be an asshole.”

“Well, I guess- wait! They’re _dating_! Does this make you the only single one on the team?”

“Tanaka and Ennoshita-senpai aren’t dating anyone.”

“Yeah but we’ve both seen how they look at each other.”

“True…”

“Kei, you need to get some!”

“Anyway… I would have thought that Lev was our least favourite with Kuroo a close second.”

“What? No! Lev’s idiocy is kinda cute and you always know what he’s thinking. Kuroo seems scheming and unreadable, y’know? You can’t trust a guy who hides all his feelings behind a shit-eating grin. It’s one of the reasons I don’t trust Oikawa… but I suppose his grin is less shit-eating and more flirtatious or self-righteous.” Koushi seemed to seriously think this over for a second. “Definitely self-righteous unless there’s a girl involved, then it’s flirtatious.”

“I don’t get why he’s flirtatious around girls. He’s gayer than you. He’s probably the gayest person ever to step foot on a volleyball court.”

“I think it’s because he’s more popular with girls so he flirts with them for the confidence boost and maybe as a way of trying to make Iwaizumi-san jealous. Not that that ever works because Iwaizumi-san is as aware as we are how gay his boyfriend is… Wait! You’re trying to distract me! Well, mister, it isn’t working because I have caught onto your evil ploy and will not let you distract me.”

“I wasn’t trying to distract you… I was actually succeeding until a moment ago-”

“Oh, hush you. So, I want all the details about you running into the stray cat.”

“I already told you all the details: I ran into Kuroo-san, we talked about volleyball and basically caught up until Aki-nii arrived and then I came here.”

“And you expect me to believe that that’s all that happened?” Koushi stopped painting his nails to look up and raise a delicately plucked eyebrow at Kei. “I call bullshit.”

“…We may have talked about the Yamaguchi situation for a bit and I may have cried a little bit and I may have gotten his phone number.”

“Oh my god, Kei! I’m so proud of you!” Nail varnish flicked onto the carpet as Koushi waved his arms about.

“Why are you _proud_ of me? I have done literally nothing that you should be proud of me for.”

“You talked about your feelings! I’ve been trying to get you to do that for months. _And_ you cried. I’ve been trying to get you to do that for months as well.”

“You’ve been trying to make me cry? Some friend you are.”

“I’ve been trying to get you to allow yourself to be upset. And I think we’re _way_ beyond being just friends. Haven’t I been telling you? We’re _best_ friends and that gives me special privileges. These privileges include, but are not limited to: talking to you about feelings, seeing you in your pyjamas (your usual ones not the ones without holes in that you save for sleepovers) and getting you to cry for the sake of your own emotional wellbeing.”

“…Well, you got one of those things right. I refuse to wear my nice pyjamas for you; totally not worth it.” Kei picked up a purple nail buffer out of Koushi’s nail bag and started buffing his nails with it, smirking.

“That’s just rude. Comebacks like that should be saved for Oikawa. I have done nothing to encourage such slander.” Koushi finished his final layer of paint and stood up. “I’m going to boil the kettle; do you want anything?”

“What’ve you got?”

“There’s the boring tea. I’ve got some green tea with weird infusions that Oikawa drinks when he’s over. I’m in the mood for chai but I have some fruity teas. I know that you like those. Or there’s instant coffee.” He rattled off the contents of the cupboard as he carefully made his way around the sofa, balancing on his heels.

“Which fruit teas are there?”

“There’s a winter berries one that someone gave me as a New Year’s gift. There’s a cranberry and blood orange one that Oikawa bought because he was curious about it, but he didn’t like it so he gave it to me. There’s one that’s just had random berries thrown in it: doesn’t even specify which berries until you look at the ingredients. Who has time for that? People who don’t need reading glasses, that’s who!” Koushi glared at the box in his hand as though it had personally done him the injustice of making him need glasses to look at anything less than three feet away. “Oooh… and there’s a strawberry and rhubarb one hiding at the back.”

“Strawberry and rhubarb then. But I want to try the blood orange one at some point.”

“On it.” Grabbing two mugs from a cupboard above his head, Koushi set the kettle to boil and put a different teabag into the mugs. “You’ve got my ‘Openly Sarcastic’ mug.”

“Apt.”

“I thought so.”

Koushi watched the kettle boil as a comfortable silence fell between the two friends. They’d both missed this. The playful banter mixed in with heartfelt comments shrouded by insults and sarcasm. Even if the sofa was weird and lumpy and had a Power Rangers blanket thrown over it to hide the stains (of wine and nail varnish and… more wine - Oikawa and Koushi drank a lot of wine together) and the flat smelt a bit too strongly of Chanel No.5 (“Goddamn it Tooru, what’ve I told you about bathing in your expensive perfume? You’re a student! Learn to be more frugal and save it for special occasions.” _“But you got a visit from me today Kou-chan. How is this not a special occasion? I’m a blessing.”_ ) and the sink was full of dirty plates and someone would have to do the washing up later. Koushi was a little less homesick. Kei felt more at home than he had in months.

“Koushi…”

“Yeah?”

“…I missed you.”

A small smile graced Koushi’s lips as he continued staring the kettle. “Yeah. I missed you too Kei.”

The silence settled back in, as comfortable as before, but Kei fidgeted.

“Koushi?”

“Yeah?”

“I love him. I love Tadashi.”

The kettle finished boiling. Koushi poured the water in the two mugs.

“Yeah. I know.”

 

~(^-^)~*

 

Sitting on the sofa, wrapped in a Hello Kitty blanket, Kei and Koushi worked their way through Koushi’s substantial romantic comedy collection, a tub of raspberry ripple ice cream on Koushi’s lap. Koushi’s left arm was wrapped over Kei’s shoulder, tucking Kei into his side, the spoon in his right hand hovered above the ice cream. Kei had his left arm out of the blanket so he could use his own spoon.

It would be funny to an outsider: how small Kei seemed when he’d spent his whole life looming over people. But it wasn’t funny to the occupants of the sofa. It just was. An older brother figure who’d been here before, but without someone to snuggle into, comforting the younger with ice cream, hugs and the promise that he could never mess up as badly as the people they were watching on the TV. It would get better because they had time. But it wasn’t better yet and that was okay. Koushi made sure that Kei knew that.

Considering how both of them were half asleep, it was a wonder that no ice cream was on the floor, blanket or either of their laps. Especially considering how dark the room was; the sun had long set and neither of them had wanted to move to close the curtains or turn on the lights. Kei’s glasses had been digging into the side of his face so he'd taken them off and now he couldn’t even see the film anymore. It didn’t really matter; all the characters were just as stupid as each other so it didn’t matter who’d made a comical error this time.

There was a soft rapping on the door. Koushi half lifted his head and looked at the digital clock on the side table.

“It’s open!”

A soaking wet Akiteru came through the door, peeled off his jacket and shoes and squelched his way over to the two on the sofa.

“It’s raining cats and dogs out there. The forecast didn’t say anything about rain.”

“Did you remember to check the forecast for Tokyo as well as the one for Miyagi, Nii-chan?” Kei asked, raising an eyebrow in his brother’s general direction.

“…”

“Thought so.”

“Anyway… why is it so dark in here?”

“The light switch is really far away.” Koushi answered while Kei nodded in agreement.

“It’s like six steps away from the sofa and even fewer from the armchair.”

“Exactly.” They said in unison.

Aki shook his head in amusement, happy to see his little brother so comfortable with someone other than Yamaguchi.

“Is that raspberry ripple?”

“Yep. Spoons are in the drawer by the sink.”

“Koushi has another tub if this one runs out.”

“Sweet!”

After grabbing himself a spoon, Aki settled himself on the floor, his back leaning against the sofa. Koushi gave him a quick run through of the plot so far and they settled back down.

“So… do we like her?”

“No! She’s Jessica. The one who Stephanie thinks Julian is going out with but he isn’t and they’re just friends. Jessica wants Stephanie to believe than she’s dating Julian though.”

“Why?”

“Because she likes Julian and he likes Stephanie. Pay attention Nii-chan!”

“…Then who’s Andrew?”

“Stephanie’s ex-fiance and basically the only decent character in the entire film.”

“So why didn’t she marry him?”

“Because she wanted to ‘rediscover herself’ and went backpacking around Spain. He was the one who benefitted though; now he can find someone better.”

“I wouldn’t mind being the rebound. He has really nice arms.”

“I thought you were more of a legs guy, Koushi.”

“And he’s probably straight, Suga-kun. And he won’t speak Japanese.”

“Way to destroy a boy’s dreams, Akiteru-san.”

“At least you still have Sawamura-kun.”

“Not you too!”

Their evening continued like this, with Aki struggling to follow the very simple plot of each film and continually getting the characters mixed up, Kei explaining the plot to him in a very exasperated manner and Koushi placing dibs on all the attractive male characters. As a particularly boring shouting match started between two characters that they’d all forgotten the names and relevance of, Kei started to feel his eyelids droop. He couldn’t sleep yet though; he had something that he wanted to say.

“Guys?”

“Hmm?”

“Thanks.”

Both Aki and Koushi smiled, but didn’t take their eyes from the screen. They answered him together.

“What else are brothers for?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love Suga and i think that shows in how much i write about him. (*^^*)♡ He isn't trans or anything in this fic (i don't feel like i have enough experience or knowledge to write well on such a topic) but he doesn't stick to gender norms. He wants to wear nail varnish: he will. He wants to have on fleek winged eyeliner: he will. He wants to buy a jumper because it's super slimming but it's from the women's section: he will. He's pretty, confident and damn good at contouring. I wish i was any of those things.  
> I think my love of tea also shows in this chapter. I do think that Daichi, Iwa and Yaku are more inclined towards coffee so that's why Suga has some. But i know nothing about coffee so they've got instant (all coffee tastes the same to me). Oikawa probably drinks super syrupy starbucks coffee like a pretentious white girl. But he also likes weird green tea fusions. Sue me for my headcanons. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯  
> Acceptance is the first step to moving on. Kei's mostly accepted stuff but he gotta do a lot more. I'm sorry if some of the convos seem repetitive but Kei needs reassurance that he can hurt and people care and it'll get better eventually.
> 
> Thank you for reading!  
> Bye♡♡♡


	4. Shared

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the last chapter (which was really long ago, I'm so sorry) :  
> -Suga painted his nails  
> -Kei admitted his feelings for Yama (so proud!)  
> -Aki didn't check the weather forecast  
> -Ice cream was consumed  
> -Jessica was a bitch and Andrew had nice arms

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SO SORRY!!!! I know that this chapter's really late but it's also very long (because i couldn't find a comfortable place to end it) and it's got Oikawa in it so I hope you like it. I'm sorry if the characters behave a bit too like the live in the Western hemisphere but that's the only point of reference i have. I do appreciate advice, corrections and ideas if you would be kind enough to offer them.  
> https://paperaster.tumblr.com/
> 
> Hope you enjoy the chapter!

"KOU-CHAN~!!!”

It was far too early the next morning when the infamous Oikawa Tooru burst into Koushi’s flat. An annoyingly common occurrence for both Koushi and his roommate, who was visiting his family and wouldn’t be back until the Monday. Lucky him. He didn’t have to deal with this sort of thing until then.

Technically, it was Koushi’s fault. He must have forgotten to lock the door last night, but, in his defence, it was past three in the morning before he and Kei pried themselves off of the sofa and collapsed on their bed and futon respectively.

Unfortunately for Aki, he had camped out on the sofa (Koushi didn’t have enough space in his room to fit Aki and didn’t know his room-mate well enough yet to let Aki sleep in his room while he was away) and had, therefore, been less than five feet from the door when Oikawa came crashing in. So, he fell off the sofa. Unsurprisingly, it hurt.

“Look, dude, it’s too early for this. What are you doing up at such an ungodly hour?”

Oikawa screamed. “KOU-CHAN! THERE’S A STRANGER ON YOUR FLOOR! WHAT DO I DO WITH IT?”

“I’m not an ‘it’.” Aki tried to be as indignant as he could while trying to be amicable and not look like a burglar. All while half-asleep and sporting impressive levels of bedhead. “Can you chill out for, like, two seconds? Let me wake up or something and then I’ll explain who I am to you. No need to wake up everyone in Tokyo.”

“KOU-CHA- oof!” Oikawa was cut off as Aki pulled his leg and he came crashing to the floor. He gave Aki an indignant look, which was met by tired, unfocused eyes, and went to stand back up but got tangled in the blankets that had fallen with Aki off the sofa. He opened his mouth to start yelling again but an index finger was smushed against his lips; Oikawa tried to glare at the offending digit, but it’s rather hard to glare while your eyes are crossed so he just looked very confused.

“Shhh… mornings are for sleeping.” With that said, Aki fell back onto a pillow that fell with him, asleep.

Seeing that there was no way to get out of this situation, Oikawa did the only logical thing: stole a blanket and fell asleep next to this complete stranger.

 

~(^-^)~*

 

It wasn’t until Koushi yawned his way out of his room and into the kitchen, with Kei following reluctantly behind him, that Oikawa even stirred again.

“Mornin’.” Koushi stifled another yawn and Kei mumbled what could have been a greeting.

Oikawa sat straight up. His eyes were suddenly open, as though he had been injected with caffeine, and he sprang to his feet, moving over to Koushi as quickly as was possible in such a small apartment and with far more energy than should have been possible for someone who was out cold a few moments before.

“KOU-CHAN!!!”

“Shhh… Tooru, you’re too loud for mornings. Why are you even here anyway? I don’t remember letting you in…”

“You left your door unlocked again. BUT THAT’S UNIMPORTANT! Kou-chan, there’s a stranger on your floor.”

“What? Where? I can only see Akiteru-san. But why is he on the floor?” At this Aki sat up and looked over at the two students.

“I fell when Oikawa-kun came bursting in, screaming your name, or what I assume was your name, and trying to wake up half of bloody Tokyo. Then I couldn’t be bothered to get back on the sofa and fell asleep on the floor.”

“KOU-CHAN, HE KNOWS MY NAME! HOW DOES HE KNOW MY NAME?”

“Stop shouting, Tooru! And he plays volleyball so he’s probably seen you in a magazine before… or Kei might have mentioned you.”

“I didn’t” Came a mumble from over by the kettle.

“There you go then. He’s seen you in a magazine.”

“That still doesn’t explain who he is!”

“I’m Kei’s brother.”

“So… our little firefly had a brother. That’s so cute! You actually look really alike! How did I not notice this? Kei-chan’s hair is lighter though, a lot lighter, and he’s quite a bit taller. Aki-chan, I’m sorry to tell you this but your little brother is taller than you.”

“I noticed.” Aki looked as though he couldn’t decide whether to be amused by Oikawa’s rambling or confused as to why he was rambling at all and was just too tired to actively pick a reaction to have.

“Kei-chan! Kou-chan! Did you notice?”

“Of course, we did, you imbecile. How could we not? It’s freaking obvious!” Kei pulled mugs out of a cupboard, setting them of the side, and walked over to the sink with the kettle. “Now, stop spouting nonsense about the obvious and tell us why you burst in at such as stupid hour.” He paused, tired from saying such a long sentence so shortly after waking up. “Also, would you like one of your weird teas? I’m boiling the kettle anyway.”

“Yes! Thank you, Kei-chan! Has Kou-chan still got that salted caramel green tea that I gave him the other week?”

“Like I would drink that sickly-sweet shit. See, it has alliteration, that means it’s true.” Koushi folded his arms across his chest and poked his tongue out at Oikawa.

“Kei-chan, he’s being mean to me! Defend my honour!”

“How can I defend something that you never had?”

“Mean! You’re so mean, Kei-chan!”

“Maybe I wouldn’t be so mean to you if you could a) get my name right and b) get to the point about why you’re here!”

“Oh, so I can’t just because I wanted to see my beloved Kou-chan and I heard that his firefly was visiting?” Oikawa stuck out his bottom lip in a pout and fluttered his eyelashes. The others just stared at him with deadpan expressions (even the one who had met him little over an hour before). “Wow, tough crowd. I can really feel the love right now, guys. I might not invite you to my party after all…”

“Wasn’t planning on going an-”

“YOU’RE HAVING A PARTY?” Aki threw one of the cushions that fallen onto the floor with him at Koushi’s head.

“Shhh… I thought that you understood morning etiquette, Koushi.”

“Sorry. Sorry. It’s just… A party! I’ve been waiting for Tooru to invite me to one of these!” Koushi turned to Oikawa, who was trying to maintain his pout to hide his growing grin. “So… when is it? Who’s gonna be there? Is there a theme? Oh my god! What am I gonna wear?”

“So~ it’s tonight-”

“TONIGHT?!” Aki groaned and pulled the blanket over his head. “Sorry! It’s just… that’s too short notice. How am I gonna choose what to wear in time? I need to prepare for this. I need time. I need at least… three months to prepare. Why would you do this to me, Tooru? I can’t do this!”

“Don’t worry, Kou-chan! There isn’t a theme to worry about and it’s only going to be a few ex-Miyagi-volleyball-players.”

“But then I know even less about what to wear! Theme’s narrow it down! Don’t you know anything?”

“Koushi, calm down. You always look amazing.” Kei walked into the living room, carefully stepping over Aki, and curled in the armchair with his mug. “More importantly, your chai’s by the kettle.”

“Kei’s right, Suga-kun. You’ll look like a supermodel no matter what you wear.” He looked over at his brother. “Did you make me a cup of coffee?”

“Did you want one?”

“You know that I won’t wake up until I’ve had at least four cups.”

“…It’s by the kettle with Koushi’s.”

“I knew that you were my favourite brother for a reason!”

“I’m your only brother.”

“The sentiment still stands.” Aki stood up, wobbled a bit and walked over to the kettle, passing Koushi as he walked around the sofa into the kitchen. Koushi seemed a bit frozen so he tapped him on the shoulder. “Are you alright, Suga-kun?”

Koushi didn’t answer, still stuck on whatever it was he was thinking about.

“Koushi?”

He mumbled something that none of the other boys could hear.

“What did you say, Kou-chan?”

“…D’you mean it?”

“Does who mean what? What’re you on about, Koushi?”

“…Do I really look alright in anything I wear?”

“No, you don’t.”

“Yeah… thought so… I mean you’ve got eyes and I’m-”

“You don’t look ‘alright’, Koushi. You look amazing.” Kei quickly cut it, eyes sincere as he looked directly at Koushi, who looked up in shock at Kei’s words. “Even now: with your bedhead and your Hello Kitty pyjamas and your fluffy bed socks.”

“…Thanks, Kei.”

“It’s not like I was saying anything that wasn’t already common knowledge.”

“…You know that if you keep saying stuff like that, people are gonna realise that you’re not a complete asshole like you say you are.”

“Wasn’t planning on it. You are literally the only person that I’m nice to.”

“What about that tall, freckly kid that follows you around?” Aki and Koushi both waved their arms frantically at Oikawa, trying to get him to stop talking. “You seem sweet on him. You two are so cute!” They failed.

“Yamaguchi’s… different.” Kei’s shoulders pulled up to his ears and his knees drew further into his chest, seemingly trying to sink into the chair and disappear.

“Oooh~! _Different_ , you say! How so?” For someone so good at reading people, Oikawa was stupidly oblivious to how increasingly anxious Kei was becoming.

“I’m not doing this.” Kei stood up shakily. “I’m going to go and get dressed.” With that he was gone, tea abandoned on an end table.

“…”

“Tooru, you are an absolute idiot!” Koushi was absolutely livid. “Couldn’t you see how uncomfortable you were making him? Or did you just not care? He was having an _anxiety attack_. People aren’t just _toys_ , Tooru; you can’t play with them. If you mess up, you can’t restart the game and try again. You know how Kei is. You know how much effort he puts into not caring because he doesn’t want to get hurt. Not again.”

“You’re saying that it happened _again_? But we were only just getting him to open up from the last time.”

“Different reason but yes, it happened again. And guess who was the reason.”

“…Ohhh no.”

“Yep.”

“But he was the only one who stopped him hating all people forever last time.”

“Uh huh.”

“Shit…I can’t believe I just… Shit!” Tooru started pacing up and down in front the TV, chewing on his lip and pulling his hands through his hair. “I… I need to apologise. I need to fix this.” He started striding towards the door to Koushi’s room, but he was intercepted.

“Not now. He needs a bit of time on his own to ground himself.”

“But if he’s on his own he’ll end up self-destructing. He can’t be alone now, Kou-chan!”

“I know that’ll happen if we leave him too long, but if we go in now we’ll do more harm than good. Go sit down.” They walked together to the sofa and sat. Oikawa leaned into Koushi, who rubbed circles on his back, trying to ground him. Oikawa wasn’t like Kei, he needed someone else to calm him down.

“I can’t believe I did that.”

“I shouldn’t have blown up at you like that. You didn’t know.”

“But I should have. I saw that he was uncomfortable. I thought that he was just embarrassed. I thought I could get him to open up more. I thought… I thought…”

“You didn’t know.” Koushi took Oikawa’s hands from his hair and held them both in his, turning so they were facing each other. Oikawa refused to look him in the face. “Tooru, look at me.” He did. “You didn’t know, okay? It wasn’t your fault. You could have done differently, but you didn’t. It’s not your fault and there’s nothing we can do about it now, okay?” He nodded. “Good.”

“Um…” The two looked over at the young man they’d totally forgotten was sitting on the floor in a pile of pillows and blankets, raising his hand like he was asking a teacher a question. “Would someone explain what you’re both on about?”

The two stared at him. And then at each other.

“He doesn’t _know_?”

“He was the reason for the first time.”

“ _Really?_ This guy?”

Koushi nodded.

“Huh. You learn something new every day.”

“Someone. Please. Explain what, in the name of all that is holy, is going on with my brother.”

“That’s not our story to tell, Akiteru-san. You’ll have to wait until Kei’s ready to tell you himself.”

“Is that what’s best for him?”

They both nodded, not even needing to consult with each other to answer this question.

“Then I’ll wait.”

 

~(^-^)~*

 

It was about half an hour later that Koushi pushed open the door to his bedroom, holding a plate of toast layered with strawberry jam and followed closely by Oikawa.

Kei was sitting on the floor, legs crossed, headphones on, shoulders hunched, hands clenched over his headphones and muttering along with the lyrics. He wasn’t crying, but he looked like he wanted to be. But he didn’t know how. He had changed out of his nightwear into a pair of baggy jeans and an oversized sweatshirt.

Koushi set down the toast on the desk and sat down next to Kei with an ‘oof!’. Oikawa stayed by the door, unsure of whether he was wanted yet too concerned and guilt-ridden to leave. Koushi gestured for Oikawa to sit the other side of Kei; he was answered with a raised eyebrow and an unsure expression. It took a three-minute staring contest for Oikawa to relent, closing the door and sitting down next to Kei on the futon.

None of them said anything. They didn’t need to. Kei knew they were there and that was what mattered. Whenever Kei curled up smaller, clenched his hands tighter, muttered more frantically, the other two drew closer, protective but not smothering. And slowly, after what seemed like hours, Kei’s shoulders uncurled, his hands fell to his lap and his muttering petered out. He awkwardly rolled out his shoulders and stretched his fingers, his whole body stiff from freezing up like it had. He hated this part. Koushi pulled off his headphones for him.

“Welcome back. You okay?” He wasn’t actually asking (he knew the answer) but he knew the routine and this was part of it.

“I’m… better.” Kei seemed to be struggling to find the words that he needed. “I think… I think I needed that.”

“No one needs to have a panic attack, Kei-chan.” Oikawa said softly, as though he thought that he might startle the second year.

Kei shook his head, still having obvious difficulty with connecting what he meant with the right words. “I mean that… I needed to vent the stress. I think that this one’s been a long time coming.”

Koushi looked confused and a bit concerned, “That doesn’t sound like a healthy coping strategy…”

“No, Kou-chan, I get it.” Oikawa never stopped looking at Kei. “When something happens, maybe a lot of little things, expressing all the stress and anxiety through a panic attack can be the best way to clear your head.”

Koushi still looked like he wanted to disagree, but seemed to decide that he should trust Oikawa on this one, as he had far more experience with this kind of stuff. He’d been through a lot.

And the three of them continued to sit in silence together, simply enjoying each other’s company, until Aki poked his head around the door. He looked nervous, cautious of disturbing them and stepping in where he wasn’t wanted, but also curious to check on his ‘little’ brother.

“Um… Hey guys, you okay in here?” They all looked at Kei, who hesitated before giving a slight nod, obviously not quite ready to talk again just yet. Aki didn’t know him like this, so Kei didn’t know what he could say to reassure him. Tension visibly leaked from Aki’s shoulders. “Good. That’s- That’s good. I’ve gotta meet up with some uni friends and I’ll be spending the night at one of their places. So, I’ll see you tomorrow evening, okay?” Kei nodded again. “Keep an eye on each other, okay? Don’t get too drunk at this party of yours.”

“Aki-chan! We would never! How dare you suggest such a thing!” Oikawa placed a hand over his chest dramatically and gave a look of mock horror at the mere thought. Kei and Koushi snickered at him and Aki rolled his eyes. “We are still below the legal drinking age!”

“Like that’s ever stopped anyone.” And with that he was gone.

“Now. Seeing as we’ve gotten the weekend’s mental breakdown out of the way and the closest thing we had to a responsible adult is also out of the way, let’s start getting ready for that party that you’ve told us so little about.”

“I tried to tell you about it but you kept interrupting me!”

“No, Tooru, you kept interrupting yourself. Big difference.”

“My favourite is officially Kei-chan!”

“But I agree with Kou-”

“Shhh… Kei-chan, you’re meant to be on my side.” Oikawa continued on, unaffected. “The party starts at 8 in mine and Iwa-chan’s flat-”

“Is Iwaizumi-san okay with this?” Koushi asked this with genuine concern on his face and Kei wore a similar expression. “You didn’t just announce that that was the plan, start planning without any of his input and start crying when he tried to shut it down?”

“…Anyway, so Makki and Mattsun are arriving early to ‘help set up’- they won’t, they’ll watch me and Iwa-chan do all the work [ _“He means Iwaizumi-san will do all the work while he ogles at his arms”_ ] and make jokes because they’re moderately tall shits- and if you could do that too that’d be great.”

“What? Let Iwaizumi-san do all the work and make jokes because we’re moderately tall shits? Because, sorry to burst your bubble, Tooru, Kei is more than ‘moderately tall’.”

“I am, but Koushi isn’t so he fits with all your requirements. Though, I promise to stick to the other two things as best I can.” The two crows snickered while Tooru’s face got progressively more red.

“No! You’ve got to help set up. I honestly feel so attacked right now.”

“You should be used to it by now. And I see that we’ve already been demoted from ‘guests’ to ‘assistant organisers’. And seeing that we only found out about this party this morning, I’d say that we’re the last resorts.” Kei shook his head at Oikawa in disapproval while Suga gave him a look of mock betrayal.

“Why, Tooru! How could you?”

“Excuse you! This is a fucking promotion, you ungrateful swine! I don’t trust just anyone with my alcohol supply!”

Kei and Koushi exchanged a look.

“So, there’s a top-secret alcohol supply now, is there?” Koushi raised an eyebrow exaggeratedly.

“It’s hardly top-secret! We drink a bottle of wine from it together every few weeks, when we talk about what our kouhais are up to.”

“That is hardly a _supply_! That’s just a half-decent bottle of rosé that your sister sends you and we drink it between us in an evening. Which means that the alcohol at this ‘party’ of yours is going to be shit to none existent. I’m gonna bring those cheap bottles of vodka that my mom gave me because her and dad gave up liquor for Lent.”

“I’m not familiar with Christianity, but didn’t Lent end, like, two months ago?”

“Yeah, but Dad hasn’t told Mom that yet. I think he finds her pining amusing.”

“Your mom pines after spirits?”

“And yours doesn’t?”

“My mom doesn’t drink.” Koushi has met Kei’s mom and isn’t surprised by this; she basically raised two sons by herself, with her husband travelling a lot for work, and seemed mildly afraid of the addictive qualities of coffee. Ironic, considering that her eldest son lived for the stuff.

“Mother doesn’t drink hard liquor unless it’s in a cocktail with a pretentious name.” Koushi hadn’t met Oikawa’s mom and frankly didn’t want to; she sounded like bitch.

“Well, I’ve been drinking hard liquor since I was about… what? Thirteen? And my dad’s been letting me take sips from his beer since I was about five or six, I think.” Koushi met the scandalised faces of his friends with a shrug. “My parents wanted me to get used to alcohol and strengthen my tolerance so that I wouldn’t go crazy when left home.”

“So that’s why you drink pretty much everyone under the table!”

“What d’ya mean ‘pretty much everyone’? Name me one person who I couldn’t outlast in a drinking contest.”

“Me.”

Koushi and Kei both burst out laughing.

“Good one, Oikawa. How did you know that laughing helps?”

“Tooru, I didn’t know that you could successfully make a joke! When you’re around the jokes are about you. Then again, this one is too. Well, congratulations Tooru! You learnt how to successfully degrade yourself in a humorous way. You’re a bit late to the club though…”

Oikawa pouted.

“What… you were serious?” Both crows looked aghast at this. Koushi quickly smothered his laughter but Kei laughed harder. “Oh my god! That’s even better!”

“…Moving on… Next suggestion.”

“Iwa-chan.”

“Never drinks because he’s got you to look after.”

“Mattsun?”

“Doesn’t really get drunk but will just disappear after a while and will be next seen asleep under something.”

“…Makki?”

“Only ever drinks cider and fruity lagers that’ve worn off by the time he finishes the bottle. And he usually joins Matsukawa wherever he’s napping anyway.”

“…Kei-chan, help me out here.”

“Sorry Oikawa, I would. But I’ve never seen Koushi drunk.”

“You’re no use if you’ve never seen him drink-”

“No, no, I’ve seen him drink. The last Karasuno reunion got a bit crazy- you think Noya-san and Tanaka-san are a pain in the ass when sober- and no one’s even allowed to talk about the third year’s graduation party-”

“Daichi has refused to go near an avocado since.” Oikawa suppressed a snort. “You may laugh but you weren’t there.” Koushi and Kei both shivered together as the memory surfaced. Oikawa suppressed another snort.

“Anyway… Neither of those times, no matter how shit-faced everyone else was, no matter how much he drank, Koushi didn’t get drunk. Both times and on other occasions too, he was only mildly tipsy by the end of the night, or early in the morning in some cases.”

“…Kou-chan, are you human?”

“My mom says that she’s fairly certain that I am. But then she also says that she doesn’t know how much she can trust a baby that she found in a glowing basket in the park. I mean, who knows what kind of baby gets delivered by tractor beam.”

“HOLY SHIT! YOU’RE AN ALIEN! KOU-CHAN, WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME!!! I NEED TO PUT THIS ON MY BLOG!” While saying this, Oikawa had jumped up and was now bouncing round the room waving his arms around.

“Woah there, Mr Conspiracy Nut! I was joking. Why the hell did you take that seriously?” Oikawa deflated, falling onto the bed in defeat. “And since when have you had a blog?”

“Way to destroy a man’s hopes and dreams, Kou-chan.”

“Kei had to learn it from somewhere. I concede that _did_ have natural talent but he certainly didn’t learn anything from Akiteru-san.”

“Actually…”

“Shit, oh yeah. Well, he didn’t _intentionally_ ruin your childhood and all that that you looked up to and hoped for.”

“Nice save.”

“Sorry.” Koushi looked like he wanted to delete his existence from the planet.

“Don’t worry about it. I’m over it. I like volleyball again. I’ve got you guys and the team and stuff’s looking up. My anxiety’s not as bad as it was in middle school or at the start of high school so I think that I’ll be okay.” Oikawa sat up, shared a proud look with Koushi and they both looked at Kei with tears starting to build in their eyes. “More importantly, have you decided what you want to wear now Koushi?”

“Well, you’ll also need to get changed, Kei.”

“Huh, why?”

The older two looked absolutely horrified.

“Kei-chan, you can’t go to a party in a sweatshirt and those jeans. I won’t let you in.”

“Then I’ll just stay here and not go.”

“You can’t leave me alone with the Seijoh lot. That’s too cruel, even for you Kei.”

“Hey!”

“Tooru, you’re the most difficult of them all. You don’t get to say anything.”

“…Koushi’s right though, Kei. You’ve got to come. You’ll get to brag about it when you get back to Miyagi and there’ll be loads of stories to tell and, who knows, if we dress you nice enough, you might get a boyfriend.”

“But if he only likes me when I’m dressed up why would I want to date him?”

“How will you catch his eye if you don’t? I mean, you’re attractive Kei-chan, but me and Koushi can make you drop-dead gorgeous.”

“I don’t want to be.”

“Irrelevant.” was Oikawa’s answer to this and “We’ll settle for stay-standing-alive gorgeous.” was Koushi’s.

Kei sighed, he knew when he couldn’t win and wasn’t going to spend energy that could be used for something far more important on arguing with the two (very stubborn) setters.

“Fine.” The other two whooped and went to high-five. “But I get final say on whatever you choose for me to wear.”

“Kou-chan, I think Kei-chan doesn’t trust us!”

“You’re damn right, I don’t!”

 

 

~(^-^)~*

 

Four hours and numerous outfits later, all three of them were dressed. None of them were wearing purely their own clothes, as Kei’s suitcase didn’t meet Koushi or Oikawa’s standards and said suitcase and Koushi’s closet became fair game for all three of them. Only Kei could wear his trousers, neither of the other two had legs as ridiculously long as his, though Oikawa’s came close.

At various intervals, Oikawa would leave the apartment and come back with various items from his own wardrobe. Neither Kei nor Koushi wanted to borrow any of his t-shirts; the space puns made them cringe and they didn’t trust themselves to be able to pull it off in the strange way that Oikawa managed to (not that they’d ever tell him that he did). But he had some nice jackets and a really nice scarf that Koushi wanted to borrow but forlornly pointed out that, in a small apartment full of people, wearing a scarf may cause him to overheat and faint. But he did make Oikawa promise to let him borrow it in the future.

Oikawa was wearing one of his alien t-shirts and a blue shirt of Kei’s that he’d decorated with different coloured button badges, all of which had the reoccurring theme of aliens or just space in general, except for a Powerpuff Girls one on his breast pocket. He had borrowed a pair of cut-off jeans from Koushi along with a pair grey converse that Koushi had drawn stars on in different coloured fabric pens (Oikawa had squealed when he found them under the bed, before whining at Koushi about the fact that he hadn’t been informed about their existence earlier) and looked pretty good, despite the fact that if anyone else tried to wear the same thing they’d look ridiculous.

The older two, with much fussing and arguing, had made it so that Kei was wearing the black skinny jeans he’s brought with him, a pair of Oikawa’s Doc Martens (black ones with a pattern of red flowers on them that had worn away around the ankles and toes) and thin, maroon jumper with an asymmetrical hem over a white shirt. He looked good, not quite drop-dead gorgeous but pretty damn close, and also mildly surprised at his reflection in the mirror.

The one who did look drop-dead gorgeous was Koushi. He was wearing his oversized white t-shirt, flecked with different shades of purple, that hung loosely on his shoulders, revealing his collarbones, and a pale blue pair of jeans that he’d embroidered flowers over the pockets and down the seams of. His winged eyeliner and pale pink lipstick brought out the flecks of gold in his irises. He’d stolen a pair of purple vans from Oikawa. (“I was planning on giving you them back at some point, Tooru.” _“Kou-chan, I’ve been looking for those shoes for the past month!”_ “…You’ve gotta admit that they suit me though.” _“That is beside the point!”_ ) Basically, he looked like a model.

The boys made their way towards the door and Kei and Oikawa waited by it while Koushi grabbed four bottles of vodka and a pack of lager, scrawling ‘Property of Sugawara’ on each on so that ‘everyone will know who they owe some cheap-ass vodka to’ as the owner of said alcohol so delicately put it. And with that they made their way out the door and up the stairs to Oikawa’s flat. This party was going to be something, that was for sure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A WILD OIKAWA APPEARS!!!  
> Seriously though, i am never writing outfits again, it's horrible, why did i decide that was good idea? I am one of the least fashionable people i know. I spend 80% of my time in pyjamas or jumpers and the other 20% is spent wearing my school uniform. ( ; - ; )  
> The whole sharing clothes thing is something that i do all the time with my cousins, mom, aunt and grandma. We all have the same size feet and it's honestly the best thing. I don't know whether guys do as well but they should. I save so much money on clothes because i get clothes from them and anything i buy that doesn't look quite right goes to one of them in return. It works.  
> I don't know how to write parties. Help. The craziest party that i've been to was probably the reception for my uncle's wedding. (My grandma was so drunk and it was amazing, i plan to base drunk Oikawa off of her.) But yeah... pls help me.  
> Bye ♡♡♡


	5. Dance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the last chapter:  
> \- Oikawa appeared!  
> \- Akiteru fell of the sofa  
> \- The official mental breakdown of the weekend happened (it wasn't fun)  
> \- Clothes were shared (and the author refuses to write outfits ever again, EVER, because it was a pain in the ass)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry that I seem to have dropped off of the face of the Earth but I have got a reason/ a few reasons.  
> So, there's been a lot of tension between me and my cousin (we're really close) and that's been mentally draining, which made my anxiety worse and i couldn't really cope. It's still not really resolved but my parents have been really supportive and I'm getting better at handling it.  
> Also, I've been ill and my hayfever has been acting up. The pain is real.  
> And most importantly, I have GCSE's (British exams taken at the age of 16) in less than a month and i need to study for those. I've got 28 exams for 11 subjects over 4 weeks. It'll be fun. My exams finish on the 19th of June so i should (hopefully) be posting more frequently/ regularly after that.
> 
> Thank you for waiting! I hope you enjoy the chapter.

How had he gotten here?

Kei was lying on an unfamiliar floor with his jumper nowhere in sight. He sat up slowly, clutching at his head as pain stabbed through it. He had paper streamers stuck in his hair (he pulled them out as soon as he noticed), his socks had gone missing along with his jumper and his white shirt had a stain on it that looked suspiciously like red wine. His feet were cold. He wanted his socks back. He liked those socks. They had purple stripes on them. Shit, was he still drunk?

The world was somehow blurrier than it should have been, so Kei tried to push up his glasses, poking himself in the eye when he found than they weren’t there. Oh no. What had happened last night? Did he leave his glasses somewhere? A thought came unbidden into Kei’s aching mind: had they gotten broken? No, of course they hadn’t. Oh god, he hadn’t brought any spares with him. He never let his glasses off his face if he could help it, they’d be fine. He had been drunk, who knew what could have happened. They were probably on a side somewhere in Oikawa’s apartment. His mom was going to kill him. Maybe someone had just taken them as a joke. They were gone forever-

“Looking for these?” A voice that sounded like Koushi’s cut through his increasingly more panicked thoughts and Kei squinted up at a figure standing off to his right with something in its hand, held less than a foot away from Kei’s nose. He squinted at them, realised that they were his glasses and pushed them onto his face. The world came into relieving focus.

“Thanks.” The figure, who was most definitely Koushi (no one else would look that refreshed after drinking an entire bottle of vodka and half a bottle of wine to himself the night before), sat down.

“No problem. I saw them on the table and knew you’d be freaking out if you woke up without them.”

“You’re not wrong about that.”

“So… what can you remember about last night?”

“I remember getting to Oikawa-san’s apartment and Iwaizumi being annoyed at Oikawa for skiving off of the preparations for a party that he’d insisted on having. And Hanamaki-san and Matsukawa-san making out in the middle of the kitchen, stopping to jump into the conversation so that they could mock Oikawa-san and then going back to making out before he could even squawk at them. I remember Tendou-san arriving with Ushiwaka and Oikawa-san flipping out about it. Then I had a few shots of your mom’s vodka, more people arrived - who _were_ they? - and… then it gets fuzzy. Care to fill in the gaps?”

Koushi had obviously been waiting for him to ask that last question. Kei shuffled so that they were directly facing one another and he could see Koushi’s gleeful face in all its glory, accompanied by erratic hand gestures that actually made the story a lot clearer than Koushi ever could with words alone. Words were a lot harder for Kei’s sleep and alcohol addled brain to handle than waving arms, but the arms _were_ just a touch on the loud side.

“Okay so, Semi-san was the first one to come in after the miracle couple- did you know that people keep calling him the goth version of me? - anyway, there I was, standing in Oikawa’s kitchen, with a glass of coke with a splash of my mom’s vodka in my hand, minding my own business [ _Kei snorted at this_ ] when…”

 

~(^-^)~*

 

Suga was sitting on one of the work surfaces in Tooru’s kitchen, with a perfect view of the entrance to the apartment, sipping from a pint glass of his mom’s blueberry vodka with a splash of coke in it, when Semi first came in. He didn’t look happy to be there. He looked like he’d been forced to come. He probably had been (Tendou was annoying enough to get anyone to do anything if he pestered them enough). As soon as the miracle couple took their eyes off of him, he tried to make a break for the door but was stopped by a look from Iwaizumi that clearly said _‘Don’t leave me alone with them.’_ so he stayed. He sighed, going to stand by Suga in the kitchen.

“Got any tequila?”

“Nah.” Semi tsked and looked bitterly over at Iwaizumi, who already had a drunk Tooru draped over him and looked secretly happy about it. “But we have got four different flavours of vodka, Oikawa’s sister’s wine and a _lot_ of beer. And someone else will probably bring tequila with them.”

“…How expensive is his sister’s wine?”

“I’m not much of a wine guy. You’re probably better off asking Oikawa…”

“Look at him.” Tooru was singing loudly to a song that was completely different from both the song that was playing and the one that it was actually supposed to be. “Would you want to ask him anything at the moment?”

“True. I think I saw a merlot with a fancy looking label. Want to drink our way through it and maybe a few of the other bottles?”

“Haven’t you got your glass of vodka to work through?”

“I’ll come back to it.” Suga waved off Semi’s concerned look with a grin.

“I’ll help you with the merlot but I’ll see where we are before I agree to start another bottle.”

“Let’s do it. Wait a sec though.” Pulling open drawers until he seemed to find what he’d looking for, Suga grabbed a pack of post-it notes, a pen and a roll of sticky tape. He quickly scribbled ‘Property of Koushi’ and a passive aggressive smiley face on the post-it before sticking it to the glass and taping down the sides the note. “So the note doesn’t fall off. Now let’s go!”

They didn’t need to say anything else as Semi started laughing. They picked up a couple of glasses and the wine bottle and went to sit on the sofa to laugh at Tooru from a place with an optimum view. No one else was dancing except Tooru but he didn’t seem to mind as he had Tendou cheering him on and his precious ‘Haji-chan’ almost dancing beside him. Iwaizumi was trying his utmost to hide how pleased he was to hear his boyfriend call him by his first name, shrugging off Tooru’s drunken kisses to his cheeks with a poorly hidden blush and a small smile.

Hanamaki was sitting in Matsukawa’s lap like a king would sit in a throne and, from their spot on the floor, both were hooting at their old teammates, making Iwaizumi blush more and hit Tooru over the head, then storming off to the kitchen get something to drink. Hanamaki insisted that he was actually going to the bathroom so that he could ‘wash off the cooties’, but shook his head, saying that it could never work because he had checked their bathroom cabinet and knew for a fact that they didn’t have any ‘anti-cootirial hand sanitiser’. Matsukawa laughed at his boyfriend’s nonsense and kissed the back of his neck. For this gesture, he was rewarded with an exasperated sigh and a rant about how it had literally just been said that there were no cootie-ridding substances in the flat and how dare he pass on such a deadly disease with the knowledge that there was no getting rid of it. He smiled through the rant, burying his grin in Hanamaki’s shoulder.

Kei, who was sitting next to them in sleepy, giggly, drunken mess, wrinkled his eyebrows and scooted away from the ridiculousness of the couple. He spotted Suga and stood up, wobbling his way over to him, before plonking himself back down in front of the sofa Suga was sitting on and resting his head on Suga’s lap. Semi peered curiously at him but went back to watching Tooru and sipping at his glass of wine in the half-interested way that most people watch soaps.

The door crashed against the wall as it swung open and Kamasaki burst into the room, his loud voice easily heard over both the loud music and Tooru’s singing. The back of his collar was held onto tightly by Moniwa, who looked tired and a little more than just about done with his old teammate.

“Hey! Sorry we’re late. This idiot wouldn’t get off the phone with his boyfriend so we missed our train.”

“Futakuchi is not my boyfriend! He’s nothing but an annoying kouhai, who _you_ decided would be a good choice as captain.”

“You agreed with me! Sasaya agreed with me and he would defend me in saying that you were there when the decision was made and you were the most in favour of Futakuchi becoming captain.”

“Like I’d ever want that idiot to be captain! And Sasaya isn’t here for you to gang up on me with so, ha!”

“…I could call him.”

“No! um… I mean, why would you waste money on calling him? He’s probably busy now anyway, so we wouldn’t want to disturb him. He’s probably making friends with the other people in his dorm and he might with them and… yeah, we wouldn’t want to disturb him…”

“Uh huh. Okay, so where’s the booze? We brought tequila with us because this knuckle head likes it but I wanna know where the beer’s at.”

Semi stood up. The speed of his standing jostled the sleepy Kei, who was sitting near his feet and made an indignant huff that turned into a yawn, and earned a startled noise from Suga, who’s end of the sofa had sunk a little as Semi stood. He paid no attention to either of them, choosing instead to focus on the carrier bag in Moniwa’s grasp. He covered the distance between himself and said carrier bag in three strides, wobbling a little as he came to a stop and the wine that he’d been drinking came into effect, making him dizzy.

“This… this bag has the tequila in it?” Semi’s face was way too close to Moniwa’s for either of them to be comfortable, but Semi was tipsy enough to not give a shit and Moniwa was too shocked to say anything. Instead he gave a jerky nod.

Semi took the bag from Moniwa’s hand (surprisingly gently considering how assertively he’d inquired about its contents) and was gone, disappearing off into the kitchen. Kamasaki followed after him, yelling that he was a thief and that he should at least share the bottle. Iwaizumi passed them on his way out of the kitchen. He pointed at Semi with an eyebrow raised.

“Should I be concerned about that?”

Moniwa shrugged, “The only other person who would want to drink that stuff is this idiot, so no harm done.”

“Hey!”

“Moniwa-kun!” Suga waved over at the two still standing in the entrance, his wine glass held lazily in one hand and Kei’s head still lying on his lap. “Come sit next to me! Semi-san just abandoned me in favour of a lesser beverage, so you need to finish this fancy wine with me in his place.”

“Hello, Suga-san. I’m gonna get myself a beer first and then I’ll sit with you.”

“Beer’s such a dad drink though! You should drink wine like a real mom! Or at least something like vodka. We could be vodka aunts together! Could you get me my glass if you’re going to the kitchen anyway?”

“Sure, which one is it?”

“It’s obvious when you see it. Don’t you worry.” Suga smiled pleasantly at him, stroking Kei’s hair as though he were a small child or a Bond villain’s cat (which made his statement seem a lot more threatening than it really was).

“Okay… Suga-san, are you drunk already?”

“Me?” He laughed. Kei chuckled and wriggled closer to Suga’s legs. “Of course not! I’m a bit hyper, though. I mean, I’m at my first party of university, with a load of old opponents, a boy who used to be my least favourite kouhai but is now one of my best friends and few mom squad friends. _And_ I get to watch as the trash can, whose serve nearly destroyed my volleyball husband’s arms, tries to slut drop. Speaking of that!” Suga looked down at Kei. “Kei, honey, I think you need to show Tooru how it’s really done. I know you’re tired. You’ve had a long day and you always get tired when you drink, but you can still kick his flat ass!”

Smirking, Kei lifted his head off of his makeshift pillow and stood up, stifling a yawn, before walking to stand in front of Tooru. He then did a perfect body roll. Everyone in the room, who had previously been watching to laugh at Tooru, was gob-smacked, to think that someone so tall and awkwardly long limbed could control his body so fluidly. Everyone except Suga, that is, who was looking around at the others in the room with the look of a parent showing off their child’s talents and watching the reactions to them with immense pride. Moniwa decided to wait a bit before going to get his beer.

“You seeing this, Mattsun?” Hanamaki turned face his boyfriend/ throne.

“I most certainly am, Makki!” Taking his arms from around the other boy’s waist, Matsukawa brought his hand his chin and nodded sagely. “It would appear that we have a dance off on our hands.”

“Whatever shall we do?”

“The only thing we can.” He pointedly looked at Tooru and Kei. “Decide the winner.”

“Oh Mattsun! You’re so wise!” Hanamaki threw his arms around Matsukawa’s neck. “What would we have done without your infinite wisdom and sexy eyebrows.”

“I do not know, my love. But it is not something that I would like to imagine and it’s certainly not anything that you should worry your pretty little head about.”

“You think I’m pretty? Mattsun, you charmer!”

“As if you didn’t already know how pretty you are.”

They then proceeded to start making out, unashamedly and loudly. Someone (probably Tendou) whistled and told them to get a room. Matsukawa broke off the kiss briefly - causing Hanamaki to start kissing his lover’s neck instead, trailing kisses over his Adam’s apple, sucking marks onto his pulse point, nudging the collar of his shirt - to agree with the speaker and stood up, lifting in Hanamaki in his arms, and walked across the room and into Tooru and Iwaizumi’s bedroom. So much for them judging the dance off.

Iwaizumi groaned, “I’m going to have to wash the sheets, aren’t I?” No one answered him but they all sent him pitying grimaces. “We have a spare room! Why the hell couldn’t they have gone in there? They were planning to spend the night in it anyway.” He sat down heavily on the seat next to Suga and took a swig from the bottle in his hand. Suga patted his arm comfortingly.

“You could get Tooru to do it?” He tried.

He was answered with a snort of laughter. “As if I’d be able to get that princess to do any of the housework! Nah, it’s fine; I’m used to it.” He looked fondly over at his boyfriend, who was trying out-manoeuvre Kei with some impressive high kicks and a vague sense of rhythm.

Suga followed Iwaizumi’s gaze and watched two of his best friends strip off their socks so as to get a better grip on the floor. Kei seemed to have woken up a bit, but still looked thoroughly bored (although Suga could see the ghost of a smile underneath his condescending smirk) and a bit uncomfortable at being the centre of attention.

On the other hand, Tooru seemed so excited - almost smug - about the number of eyes on him as his hips swayed and he threw his shirt at Iwaizumi, leaving his alien t-shirt in full view. It was strange how he managed to look so sensual and appealing despite his lame choice of clothes and the strange throwing of limbs that was just slightly behind the beat. His skin shone in the low light and he may as well as have been one of the aliens that he so desperately believed in because he did seem almost other-worldly. So far away from the music but also matching it effortlessly.

But he had nothing on Kei.

Kei’s body seemed to be completely part of the music, as though each song had been written with him and his dancing in mind. If Tooru was other-worldly, Kei was so entirely of this world that it seemed to come into focus around him and because of him. As he danced longer and the song changed from classic pop-y party music to alternative to classic rock, he didn’t falter. Instead he fell further into the music and becoming more oblivious to those around him and smiling wider and throwing off his jumper and dancing and dancing and dancing.

 

[ _“You’re exaggerating. I would never do any such thing.”_

_“You did! I was there and I saw it and I want to see it again. I’m sure someone filmed it. I promise you that will find that video and show it to you.”_

_“…I’d rather you didn’t.”_ ]

 

Long after Tooru had collapsed on Iwaizumi’s lap, Kei was still dancing. He had been joined by Suga (glass of wine in hand), Misaki from Johzenji (the only girl there), Moniwa (who had given up on getting a beer and was awkwardly flirting with Misaki instead), a very enthusiastic Tendou (who’d dragged a far less enthusiastic Ushiwaka up with him) and a rather dishevelled but very smug Matsukawa and Hanamaki. The last two insisting on either headbanging to the music regardless of what it was or doing a surprisingly decent tango, with a single chopstick between Hanamaki’s teeth (they were very disappointed when they couldn’t find a rose, or any other flower for that matter), to Katy Perry’s ‘Firework’.

Tendou was trying to twerk. ‘Trying’ being the operative word. His shoulders were moving more than his ass; only Ushijima was impressed (because he didn’t know what twerking was supposed to be) and everyone else was either groaning in frustration at Tendou’s persistence or laughing at him shamelessly. Tendou didn’t seem to notice (or at least he didn’t seem to care).

Moniwa and Misaki seemed to actually be hitting it off, despite Moniwa’s terrible attempts at flirting. Koushi looked away from them for a moment to say something to Kei and when he next looked back they were passionately kissing. Misaki seemed to have copied one of Matsukawa’s moves and dipped Moniwa and, to his credit, Moniwa didn’t seem to mind in the slightest that she’d taken the lead.

Suga was dancing with Kei. Able to keep up and more. Someone had put a bottle of beer in Kei’s hand, which he was taking the occasional swig from, but he hadn’t slowed his dancing. At some point, he and Koushi had started a sappily slow waltz, the kind that mothers and grandmothers usually do with small children. Twirling the younger, who was giggling and wobbling a little but still moving with all the grace that he’d had when he’d been dancing solo, Suga stumbled over an outstretched leg, spilling some of his wine on Kei’s white shirt. Oops.

Kei didn’t notice. He just kept spinning and laughing, tipping over a little but Suga was able to catch him. Kei buried his face and the continuing giggles in Suga’s shoulder, mumbled something about being tired and fell asleep.

Suga sighed and laid him the sofa next to Tooru and Iwaizumi, before retreating into the kitchen, where Semi was daintily standing on a table, dangling the bottle of tequila above Kamasaki’s head, just out of his reach, then taking a swig straight from the bottle and then dangling it again. Grinning evilly the whole time. Sighing again, grabbed his glass (and the rest of the vodka bottle for good measure), which still had his post-it note on, and found a seat on the floor of the living room.

Moniwa and Misaki had moved into a corner of the room, in the time he’d been gone, and had taken a bottle of wine with them, that they were taking turns at having a gulp from. They seemed to be having an animated conversation about their kouhais from their respective high schools, complaining and boasting about them in equal measure.

Tendou had finally stopped twerking. [ _“I’m serious, Kei! You just don’t remember how traumatic it was to watch! I’ll be having nightmares for years to come.”_ ] Instead choosing to drag Ushiwaka into a bouncy square dance, because, for some reason, ‘Hoe Down Throw Down’ was on Tooru’s party playlist. (Though Suga did suspect that it actually wasn’t his and Hanamaki had long since hijacked the music- Tooru would never have put the entirety of the Shrek soundtrack, as well as various Disney songs and 90’s rave music, on any of his playlists. Tooru had never been into western music.) Ushiwaka seemed completely indifferent to being pulled around the makeshift dancefloor, if not a little confused, but Suga was sure that he saw a ghost of a smile in that stoic expression.

Matsukawa had produced a bag of party poppers from somewhere; he and Hanamaki had taken a break from their intensive headbanging to harass anyone who wasn’t paying attention by popping them and putting the paper streamers from them in the unfortunate victims’ hair. Kei was the first to get this treatment, followed by Misaki and Moniwa, who were too wrapped up their conversation to notice immediately, and they tried to put some in Tooru’s but were quickly scared off by a glare from Iwaizumi. It was a shame; Tooru would have had the most amusing reaction when he woke up.

Speak of the devil. Tooru seemed to have stirred from his drunken slumber, happy to find himself in his beloved boyfriend’s lap, but annoyed to find Kei so close. To the half-asleep and fully drunk Tooru, Kei was interloping and, because of this, he literally kicked him of off the sofa. Then he snuggled further into Iwaizumi’s chest and fell back to sleep. Luckily (or worryingly, depending on how you chose to look at it), Kei didn’t even stir and managed to fall in such a way that he narrowly avoided hitting his head off of a side table.

Suga tip-toed over and removed Kei’s glasses, placing them on said side table, out of harm’s way. He then retreated back to his vodka and watched as the rest of his company kept drinking and talking and dropping off one by one. Iwaizumi had carried Tooru to their room and hadn’t come back. Tendou had tripped over Ushiwaka’s foot, pulling them both down, and hadn’t gotten back up. Suga had walked over to check they weren’t dead, only to find them curled into each other’s arms and out cold. Misaki and Moniwa had just been talking slower and slower until they just slumped into each other and they filled the intervals between songs with their soft snores. Matsukawa and Hanamaki had just disappeared, but Suga knew that, despite the fact he definitely wasn’t innocent, he wouldn’t want to ruin what little innocence he had left by finding those two. Semi and Kamasaki were still in the kitchen; a quick look around the door frame revealed a Semi who’d fallen asleep on the table, arms and legs spread so that he resembled a star, and a Kawasaki who seemed to have finally stolen back his tequila bottle, drunk the remaining contents and collapsed, leaning against the table leg. By this point, Suga was the only one still awake and he only an inch left in his bottle. He did one last sweep of the room, turning off the speaker that was still playing ‘Holding Out for a Hero’, and then left Tooru’s flat to go and sleep in his own bed. He’d come and check on everyone in the morning.

 

~(^-^)~*

 

“Okay… so I fell asleep drunk and you abandoned me on the floor of a flat that I’ve never been to before with a load of people older than me, many of which I’ve never spoken to in my life?”

“That about sums it up.”

“…”

“Come on! It’s not like you don’t know who they are _and_ you’ve played against all of them before. And you’ve won against all of them. And it wasn’t like I wasn’t planning to come back. And Oikawa was here. And-”

“Oikawa-san was in a worse state than I was! And he’s _Oikawa_!”

“It’s the thought that counts!”

“Yes! It is. The severe lack of it in this case. Couldn’t you have at least put me in a bed or something instead of leaving me on the floor?”

“But Matsukawa-san and Hanamaki-san were in the spare room!”

“I woke up right next to an empty sofa.”

“You’re bigger than me!”

“You could have at least stuck a blanket over me.”

“…Fair enough. But no one else did either.”

“Speaking of them… Where are they?”

“I think Moniwa-kun and Ushiwaka had classes to get to. Ushiwaka carried Tendou-san off with him and left Semi-san on the kitchen table. Kamasaki is still on the kitchen floor. Misaki left for her part-time job so she left when everyone else was still asleep, but I think I saw her write something on Moniwa-kun’s arm before she left. I haven’t seen the Seijoh lot yet.”

“Who cares about what they’re up to. It’s probably better that we don’t know, to be honest. Anyway, we should be getting back to yours. I want to have a bath and I feel gross and my back hurts. I also left my phone in your room.”

“And your head hurts too, I bet.” Koushi chuckled while Kei glared at him. “Okay, let’s get going. Where’re your shoes, socks and jumper?”

“I’ll come back for them. Your place is only downstairs it’s not like I’m going outside or anything.”

“Kei, this is a building lived in by university students exclusively. Do you really want to walk around it barefoot?”

“…Good point.”

The pair spent the next twenty minutes looking around the flat (not going into either of the bedrooms) and eventually finding one of the socks under the sofa, the other was hanging off of a lampshade, Kei’s jumper was being used by Semi (who was still asleep on the kitchen table) as a pillow and his shoes, which had been carefully thrown into the airing cupboard (probably by Iwaizumi, thinking of them as a trip hazard).

They then quickly left and went down the two flights of stairs at an almost dangerous pace. This pace was set by Kei, who was desperate to have a shower and check his phone (Aki might have texted him and he tended to freak out a bit if Kei didn’t reply, as did their mom, who’d promised to call at some point to check if he was still alive at some point during the weekend). Koushi opened the door and let Kei in.

“There are towels in the bathroom already so feel free to use them. I’m going down to the convenience store on the corner to get something for breakfast. They do a really wide variety of onigiri and the people at the till are always so polite. Do want anything? I mean, I’m going anyway.”

“No. Thanks though.”

“Okay, see you in a bit.” Koushi was out the door before Kei could even open his mouth to ask if it was okay to borrow the shampoo. He assumed that it would be.

 

~(^-^)~*

 

Kei stepped into Koushi’s room, rubbing at his hair with a towel, and flopped down on the bed. A buzz came from the bed side table; he sat up and saw his phone flashing. Could it be Koushi? No, he’d only left about twenty minutes ago. Who else could it be? He grabbed his glasses from where he’d left them (next to his phone on the table) and pushed them onto his face, picking up his phone.

Kuroo.

To be honest, he’d completely forgotten that he’d texted Kuroo a couple of days earlier (only to see if he had the right number, not for any other reason, of course not), so this was a surprise. What could Kuroo want?

 

_From: Bedhead Blocker_

_> > Hi Tsukki!!!_

_Bo + I were wondering if u wud like 2 join us for a 3rd gym reunion w/ Akaashi. If u’re still in Tokyo anyway. There’s a place that we like. Meet us there a 2pm? See you there!!!_

_Fave Senpai_

There was a location attached to the message and the meeting time was a couple of hours away. He had enough to have lunch with Koushi, ask him for directions and get to the café (at least that’s what it looked like to Kei). He replied, agreeing to meet them. It had been a while since he’d seen Akaashi and the fact that he’d be there too was a bit of a relief. Kei wasn’t sure if he’d be able to handle Kuroo and Bokuto alone. Yeah, maybe he was looking forward to this afternoon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case it was confusing, I switch to calling Suga 'Suga' because it's from his pov and I think that he thinks of himself as 'Suga' rather than 'Koushi'. He also thinks of Oikawa as 'Tooru' but calls him 'Oikawa' when talking about him instead of to him. Tsukki thinks of Suga as 'Koushi' so that's why I usually write referring to him as 'Koushi'. I hope that makes sense. (^~^)  
>  Ironically, after i finished writing this chapter i was invited to a party. (≧▽≦) I have no idea when it's going to be though. Parties aren't really my thing anyway tbh. I'd rather read about them or hear my friends tell me about the ones they've been to as opposed to actually attending one.  
> Thank you for reading!  
> Bye ♡♡♡

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading.


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